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Twitter’s San Francisco HQ reportedly a hub of gross scent

Elon Musk has reportedly conjured a brilliant plan to disrupt the tech sector and keep his workers focused: cut janitorial services, and slowly unleash a motivational stench across the hallowed halls of Twitter’s San Francisco headquarters.

The San Francisco offices have been slashed from four floors to two and have been without janitorial services for nearly a month, according to a new story from the New York Times about Musk’s visionary tenure as Twitter CEO.

The janitors in question went on strike in early December requesting better wages, and Musk responded by getting rid of them altogether. As a result, according to the New York Times, “The office [is] into disarray. With people packed into more confined spaces, the smell of leftover takeout food and body odor has lingered on the floors, according to four current and former employees. Bathrooms have grown dirty, these people said.”

The remaining workers are reportedly bringing in their own toilet paper, too, an act of insubordination that does not align with Musk’s apparent vision for a stinky smelly workplace. The Times story notes that Musk’s anti-hygiene stance has wafted to New York; he reportedly cut janitorial services at that Twitter office as well.

Musk’s fetid directive comes after a series of other cost-cutting maneuvers, including Twitter reportedly no longer paying rent at its San Francisco headquarters. Workers have allegedly been asked to spend long hours and sleep at the offices, which triggered a still-open investigation by the city’s Department of Building Inspection.

One could argue these measures are deeply anti-worker and unlikely to seriously alleviate Twitter’s growing debt; others — all of whom just happen to pay $8 a month for Twitter Blue — might counter that Musk is actually engaging in a rent strike and providing more housing opportunities in downtown San Francisco, both of which are heroic displays of solidarity alongside tenants rights advocates.

On Friday morning, Musk posted a cryptic meme on Twitter: “What if I told you the only way to escape the Matrix is ​​to unlearn everything that you have been taught and rebuild your entire belief system based on critical thought and analysis.”

Do bathroom breaks exist outside the Matrix? Sounds like Twitter employees will find out soon.

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